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Kenny Powers quotes from 4 of Season 1 (14 quotes)
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Clegg, this is to get back into the majors. Me sitting around smoking weed is awesome, but it's not going to be what necessarily a team manager's going to be looking for.
— Kenny Powers
Season 1   Episode 4,         Comment
Clegg, you got my shit? Why is it in a ziplock bag? Are these mushrooms? Clegg, I'm talking about my fucking steroids, man.
— Kenny Powers
Season 1   Episode 4,         Comment
She don't know shit. Sitting here, waving around her cervix like it's the hottest ticket in town.
— Kenny Powers
Season 1   Episode 4,         Comment
You should see my fucking cookouts, man. When I was back in Seattle, I had the goddamn Spoonman from the Soundgarden videos coming to my shit. Oh, yeah. I'm talking six grills burning at all times. Tiki Torches. Three whole pigs. Fucking shitloads of macaroni and cheeses. Baked potatoes. Collared greens. A horse. Fucking Puerto Rican chicks showing their pussies and tits off everywhere. They were amazing.
— Kenny Powers
Season 1   Episode 4,         Comment
What did I tell you? I said put something nice on. You look like a busted Daytona stripper in that shit. Listen, I don't want no pussy-getting-wet dresses for this cookout. This needs to be a normal, evening outfit that regular people would wear.
— Kenny Powers
Season 1   Episode 4,         Comment
Now, I know you're not a natural beauty, but I think the right clothes and the right look you could be very striking.
— Kenny Powers
Season 1   Episode 4,         Comment
Oh, what do I know? I know that one of us had their own personal stylist and one of us shoplifts their shit from Fashion Bug. That's what I know.
— Kenny Powers
Season 1   Episode 4,         Comment
Honey, I love you. I think you're a terrific girl. But you have clothes like a fucking dickhead.
— Kenny Powers
Season 1   Episode 4,         Comment
Lovely? Her? Cutler, this is Tracey. Tracy, Cutler. He's my boss, so don't try to suck him off.
— Kenny Powers
Season 1   Episode 4,         Comment
What the fuck are you wearing? I'm wearing all black. I don't like it. Find a way to change yourself for me.
— Kenny Powers
Season 1   Episode 4,         Comment
Decent cookout, April. I don't believe you've met my fuck-buddy, Tracey. She's actually a professional runway model. She's also a very, very famous painter in France. Yup, she has several works of fine art hanging up in the Loove-ray.
— Kenny Powers
Season 1   Episode 4,         Comment
So in closing, I'd like to give big ups to God, Buddha, L. Ron, whoever. Hell, maybe I just need to thank me. If there's one thing I've learned through all my adventures and conquests is that some people are just wired for success. I had no choice when it came to being great. I just am great. I'm not trying to sound cocky, or full of myself. But, Kenny Powers has a sneaking suspicion that no matter what comes his way, he will always be great. Because that's just they way shit works sometimes.
— Kenny Powers
Season 1   Episode 4,         Comment
I don't know what's going on, man. I'm just all jammed up inside. Lost my abilities. Been stripped of all my God given talents. Including, the talents to be able to have sex with any woman I choose, or to throw a fucking ball fast, or to not prematurely come in my pants. Sometimes I just don't know which one hurts the most. I'm ashamed of myself.
— Kenny Powers
Season 1   Episode 4,         Comment
I'm not crying, Dustin. It's just this stupid pollen. It's in my eyes and making them fucking water. Just go away from me, Dustin.
— Kenny Powers
Season 1   Episode 4,         Comment