Season One  |  Season Two  |  Top Quotes
Maybe. Maybe we will cut this motherfucker's balls off. He will titty-titty bang-bang you. He will fucking cut your tits off right here.
— Kenny Powers
Season 2   Episode 1,         Comment
Charge who? Honestly, I can't even believe that you would look at me and the word 'gringo' would even come to mind. Does it make your life easier just to throw a quick racist term at somebody? A man who has seen the things I have seen, experienced the loss and pain that I've experienced. I transcend race, hombre.
— Kenny Powers
Season 2   Episode 1,         Comment
A word of advice: Next time you want to bet on my cock, you'd better bring some fucking pesos. Got it ese?
— Kenny Powers
Season 2   Episode 1,         Comment
This is me now. A man haunted by the sacrifices he's had to make. A man who ran and never looked back. A man who drank his ass all the way down to the butthole of America. I left my country to begin a new life. One where I could finally blend with those I was living amongst, become another face in the crowd. Soon, I was embraced by the natives. The wild landscape became my mistress. The wild women, my my come-caves. Soon enough, I felt like an entirely new person. But truthfully, sometimes I did wonder about them, about how they deal with the holes, the agonies, the darknesses that no doubt fell upon them when I rode off into the sunset and then took that sunset with me. Do they even remember what it's like to have hope? Did they forget how to close their eyes and dream? Did they discover that without me, they may as well not even exist? And although it makes me kinda sad, I know this savage land was made for me. It's where outlaws go to die, and as that day nears, I take comfort in knowing that the lives of those I left behind are better off without me.
— Kenny Powers
Season 2   Episode 1,         Comment
Let me make this real clear Catoue, if there is one thing in this world I cannot stand, it is fuckin' soccer, all right? And I hate when people do it around me. Please, hop off my moped, please, that is a very expensive vehicle.
— Kenny Powers
Season 2   Episode 1,         Comment
Yeah, looks like she's cooking seared titty for someone right now. Man, I feel like this is some National Geographic shit.
— Kenny Powers
Season 2   Episode 1,         Comment
I appreciate the offer, but I'm not into bonding with new people down here, all right? I already got a family. I don't need the fucked up version of the original. Your wife's titty does look beautiful though.
— Kenny Powers
Season 2   Episode 1,         Comment
And in addition to all that other stuff, Kenny Powers still does not like children.
— Kenny Powers
Season 2   Episode 1,         Comment
This little son-of-a-bitch here is probably the best sidekick I've ever had. He's beating you, Hector. He is whooping your ass as a sidekick. No, not fucking thumbs up! Don't you ever want to fucking win? Do you wanna win? Do you ever wanna jerk off?
— Kenny Powers
Season 2   Episode 1,         Comment
Hector will have whatever Aaron's having, only not as good.
— Kenny Powers
Season 2   Episode 1,         Comment
You just like to hit it and quit it, huh? That's how you roll?
— Kenny Powers
Season 2   Episode 1,         Comment
Look at the goddamn sax player from Lost Boys out here tying to rub the goddamn language barrier in my face.
— Kenny Powers
Season 2   Episode 1,         Comment
Sure. Just a tourist who's lost who might whip somebody's ass if they keep trying to isolate me from conversations. Peace.
— Kenny Powers
Season 2   Episode 1,         Comment
You don't want an AIDS zebra picture. You want a clean zebra picture!
— Kenny Powers
Season 2   Episode 1,         Comment
Nice game, dicksuckers.
— Kenny Powers
Season 2   Episode 1,         Comment
Oh yeah. Kenny Powers does have famous hair, doesn't he. Yeah, but this ain't his hair. This is Steve's hair. Steve the cock fighter. Yeah, I'm a fucking cock fighter, not a ballplayer. Not, not.. I've never been a ballplayer, ever before.
— Kenny Powers
Season 2   Episode 1,         Comment
Big Red, you were a good cock. You made us a lot of money. My you find the peace in death that you so longed for in life. I'm sorry about the way things turned out... sorry about they way a lot of things turned out. See ya in hell, hombre.
— Kenny Powers
Season 2   Episode 1,         Comment
You don't like me? Well you're the one with a fucking disability. It should be me not liking you, and yet I accept you. And you do this to me? Man, fuck you, you midget. I'm taking the fucking cocks.
— Kenny Powers
Season 2   Episode 1,         Comment
In Mexico, a man can truly get lost. And, if you're a bank robber, or maybe someone who's committed a fucked up, crazy crime, then that's a good thing. But hiding takes it's toll. At first you don't realize it but, soon the identity that you tried to shed starts getting pissed and knocking at your insides. You know, when dealing with deep depression and sad shit, it's cool to pretend like nothing is wrong. That, sometimes, works. But, eventually, you got to call a goddamn spade a spade and be like , 'Yo, I'm fucked up and I got to make a change.'
— Kenny Powers
Season 2   Episode 1,         Comment
Sometimes you've got to wash aways the paint and reveal to the world the jackass that is hiding beneath.
— Kenny Powers
Season 2   Episode 1,         Comment
Sometimes, you just gotta get back in the fucking game.
— Kenny Powers
Season 2   Episode 1,         Comment
I know a lot of you guys have seen me around town, going 'Hey, there's Steve, the new guy, running shit, the cock fighter.' Well, I have a confession to make. My name's not Steve. And, I'm not a cock fighter. I'm a ballplayer. And, not just any ballplayer... I'm Kenny fucking Powers, and I reveal myself to you all, here, upon this field. Behold! It's my rookie card. That's me on the front. Y'all want to just pass this around. So you can just see it. I'm gonna need to get it back though. You know, I see the look on your faces. You're thinking, 'Hey Kenny, you're from America; you probably have a printer. You could have just gone on the internet and printed that bitch.' Yeah, you know what? I could have, 'cept for one fact: I don't own a printer. And, I fucking hate computers. All kinds. I come here today, not just to bash on fucking technology, but to offer you all a proposition. Let's face it, y'all fucking suck. Don't get your feelings hurt, alright? Don't get sensitive on me here. I fucking suck too right now. I am in the darkest, third world hole that I've ever been in in my entire life, about a thousand, hundred, million miles from where I should be. And, the only way for me to get back there, is for us to join forces. If we can make enough noise down here, then just maybe, everyone in America will hear us. Everyone will. And they will all know, that Kenny Powers is, in fact, the Christ figure that they perceive me to be. So, if you all don't believe my words, then perhaps you'll believe this... Anyone have a ball? El ball-o? Wheew! Oh, ok. I got it. Behold this, boys. Try and fucking doubt this, alright?
— Kenny Powers
Season 2   Episode 1,         Comment